Sunday, 25 November 2012

Start Screaming Already!

JournalWord: Evil organization's paperwork.
While everyone downstairs is happily beating each other for the last remnants of an overdue prisoner, Tina sits in her office, shuffling around paperwork to the eerie shrieks of a prisoner who has taken the men's interest. Must have finished up with the dead guy, she muses, popping a pen lid between her teeth and aiming her pen tip at the task at hand.

It is an unfortunate fact that evil organizations are as susceptible to bureaucracy as any company, whether it be a flock of maniacal zombies or a stapler factory. Currently, Tina is attacking the Equal Opportunities form.

First question: Are they accessible for the disabled? Tina peeks her head out of her window, a sheer drop of several hundred feet into a raging ocean of  impenetrable tides. She optimistically ticks the box. They have managed to get several heavily disabled enemies into their castle, and even right down into their dungeons. In fact, they have found that it is easier to get their prisoners inside once they've chopped off a limb or two, and very amusing to watch as they flop around while they bite and wiggle furiously in pain.

Next question: Are there any non-heterosexual members in their organization? Truthfully, none of them were really that fussy, but Tina is unsure whether it would look good to claim that at least 88% of the organisation has the same sexuality. She neatly prints "Ishin likes men", pauses for a moment in hesitation, and then adds "Big hairy ones with mullets".

Handling disabled members is an easy one. They could always chop off one of Ishin's legs if an Equal Opportunity officer came visiting. Between the children and the finicky men downstairs, the age range question is answered. As for gender, Tina is sure that she can threaten Ishin into a dress long enough to bring the male-to-female ration down if anyone calls round.

She spends the next half hour signing every other form, humming thoughtfully. She swoops and arcs her name one last time for the day, adding her signature curved heart, before stabbing her last document into its designated envelope. Tina stretches her arms behind her head, leaning back into the only decent chair in the whole castle and smiles to herself.

The floor suddenly rumbles and the bookshelf across her desk collapses when she curses.
Downstairs, Varence is doing the laundry.

Welcome to my own personal evil organization! Many of which are zombies, maniacal scientists, satanists and the such. Gotta love fictional characters!

(This is purely comical, and I had no intention to offend anyone.)


P.S. I'm absolutely loving the traffic and I sincerely thank you for reading :) -airkiss!-


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