Thursday 24 January 2013

Womanly Bits

JournalWord: "What's so good about being a girl?"

::

Sherry stomps over to the table and slams her lunch down before sliding into the booth. 

Aaron lowers his spoon and raises an eyebrow at the three KitKats. "Is that all you're having?"

She snarls and rips the wrapper off of one viciously, tossing it behind her into the next booth without a care. After chewing a stick, she slams down her head, groaning at the pain and vocally regretting the action.

Aaron pushes his soup aside, seeing as every time he tries to eat, she slams the table. Brett joins them in that second, opting to slide into the seat beside Aaron instead, at the sight of Sherry's head of hair. 

"What's her problem?" he asks, grabbing the water bottle on his tray to twist open the cap. Aaron opens his mouth, but Sherry decides to wake up.

"What's so good about being a girl?" she asks, turning her head so her cheek rests on the table and she can see them through her overturned hair. She stares at them, challenging, as she shoves another stick of chocolate into her mouth.

"Um, is this supposed to be rhetorical?" Aaron supplies, suspicious.

Brett smirks and shakes his head at Aaron. "This is a trick question." He points at Sherry with his water bottle. "You are absolutely gorgeous, my dear."

"Bzzt! Wrong!" She lifts her head up but slouches onto her arms. "Both of you. I want to know what is so good about being a girl. The truth!"

Without hesitation, they simply reply with "Sex".

"You've got to be kidding," she says, rolling her eyes.

Brett lifts his plastic fork and aims it so it dangles in front of her eyes. "Sweetheart, sex is always the answer and from a guy's point of view, you ladies make it amazing by just being there. I mean, you've got the easy end of the deal; you don't have to work for it, you've always got a willing partner, and you always end up feeling good. Although whether it's emotionally or physically, I'm still working on that," he adds, stabbing his pasta matter-of-factly.

Aaron blinks and swivels to meet Sherry's attention. "Okay, there must be a reason why you'd bring this up so I'm going to hit all the bases. Women have every guy wrapped around their tiny fingers. They have the ability to be both impossibly beautiful and crazy smart. They have their own empowered rights. You get free drinks at the bar, for heaven's sake! And children like your half of the species! What more can you ask? Women are the epitome of amazing."

"Dude, you forgot lingerie." At that they both sink into their seats and drift into a dreamland only expressed in a distant smile. 

Sherry coughs to snap them back to reality. "You're forgetting that we have to sacrifice a lot for those free drinks, like expensive makeup and clothes, and diets with extreme workout sessions," she retorts back, and Aaron and Brett briefly regard each other before leaning towards her.

"You just want to bicker," Aaron concludes with a smirk and Brett nods, picking up his sandwich. Aaron reaches for his tray, dunking his crackers into the cold soup.

Sherry sputters. "What? No. I just think that there's nothing good about being a women, is all." Her voice trails off to a whisper as she gnaws on her chocolate. Brett leans forward to pat her head comfortingly.

"Hey Sherry," Tia greets, passing the table. One glance at Sherry's drooped stature is enough for her to reach into her bag. "Period?" she asks, and much to the guys' horror, Sherry pouts and nods. 

Tia nods understandably and hands her another chocolate bar. "Just think, one day you'll snag yourself a hottie with your womanly bits and have the cutest little baby ever," she says, smiling before she leaves. 

Brett and Aaron scoff when she disappears but shut their mouths when Sherry finally smiles, giggling distantly as she unwraps the next KitKat bar.

::

Yesterday, I realized something extraordinary.

In the space of a few months, I had unknowingly forgotten myself.

Forgot my motivation. Forgot who I aim to be. Forgot my sense of passion. 

A shiver ran down my spine and I realized that without the essentials of my mind, my being, I had lost myself and forgotten why I am here. I mean, what is there if you don't know yourself? 

I didn't think my memory was that bad. I know that I have to write everything down to remember things, like lists, things I need done, my ideas... But it never came to mind that I would need some sort of reminder to bring me back from the blankness creeping in the corners of my internal vision. 

Well, now that I've realized this, I only hope I can manage to revive the spark that seemed to drift from my soul. I need this drive back. There is this passion that I have to catch.

And this explains why Fool's Paradise turned out to be a mess. No motivation, no inspiration. I'm fixing this. I swear.

-Mera.

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