Disruption of Plans

I like being in control. More specifically, I like being able to control my own plans.

And not having others, particularly my parents, disrupt my plans for their own selfish reasoning. 

And without discussing them with me, either.

I feel like a child. Sugar-coating words and coddling me.

And I thought I was entitled to being treated like the adult I should be.

When will I grow up? When will you let me?

I'm not so easily pushed down. Shove me, toss me, push me. I'll get right back up.

I'm my own rock. I have a road I'm ready to take. 

I'm stacked and structure with passion. Motivation. Dedication. 

Just let me go. 

I've built my own world beyond this home. Beyond this city. Beyond this office.

My age is not limited. Nor is my innocent, doe-eyed face. 

My mind is beyond my life. And my life is beyond these restrictions you've all labelled and pasted onto me.

I'm not a tack-on board. Unpin me.

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A Better Time

This is a time for change, for self-improvement. 
I need to grow up. I am in need of growing up.
This is a time to become someone.
Wouldn't it be awesome to be someone I love?

I got a haircut.
Which is really big for me, considering I'm on a leash grasped tight in my father's traditional ways. 
My waist length hair is shoulder length now, and boy, if only you saw the mountain of hair around me. 
The last time I played a stunt like this, albeit with intentions only to hurt, I had just climbed off the plane from strict Pakistan, and my father didn't talk to me for a year. 
It was hurtful. It was painful.
A year is a long time to feel hated.

I'm just glad that we regained our close relationship. 
Although, since my father is in Pakistan right now, this might not have been a good time.
But hopefully, after seeing me on Skype yesterday, he'll have some time to get over it. 
I hope, and I pray. 

But this needs to be done.
I need to grow up.

(And after prospects for an arranged marriage were rejected for being unacceptable for me, I've gotta figure out my own future. Holy amazon, that's a story in itself I'm at a loss for.. Starting a mindset I am not accustomed to believe was in my power.. And how the hell does "love" play in this game??)

Anyways.
The only person who can figure you out is yourself. 
And if that's not true, please, reevaluate why that is.
I did, and now I have a purpose.

Feeling refreshed and light, I'm going to better myself.
Because now is a better time than never.

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